A Friday Funny

It's Friday - I've almost made it through another work week. In my email this morning I received a collection of very wise quotes from a collegue here at the office. I wanted to share this with you.

"A slipping gear could let your M203 grenade launcher fire when youleast expect it. That would make you quite unpopular in what's leftof your unit."
- Army's magazine of preventive maintenance.
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"Aim towards the Enemy"
- Instructions printed on U.S. Rocket Launcher
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"When the pin is pulled, Mr. Grenade is not our friend."
- U.S. Marine Corps
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"Cluster bombing from B-52s is very, very accurate. The bombs are guaranteed always to hit the ground."
- USAF Ammo Troop
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"If the Enemy is in range, so are you."
- Infantry Journal
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"It is generally inadvisable to eject over the area you just bombed"
- U.S. Air Force Manual
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"Whoever said the pen is mightier then the sword obviously never encountered automatic weapons."
- General MacArthur
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"Try to look unimportant; they may be low on ammo."
- Infantry Journal
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"You, you, and you. Panic. The rest of you come with me."
- (Marine Corps Master Gunnery Sergeants ROCK!) - U.S. Marine Gunnery Sgt. (Mgysgt5)
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"Tracers work both ways."
- U.S. Army Ordnance
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"Five second fuses only last three seconds"
- Infantry Journal
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"Don't ever be the first, don't ever be the last, and don't ever volunteer to do anything."
- U.S. Navy Swabbie
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"Bravery is being the only one who knows you're afraid."
- David Hackworth
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"If your attack is going too well, you're walking into an ambush."
- Infantry Journal
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"No combat-ready unit has ever passed inspection."
- Joe Gay
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"Any ship can be a minesweeper. Once."
- unknown
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"Never tell the Platoon Sergeant you have nothing to do."
- Unknown Marine Recruit
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"Don't draw fire; it irritates the people around you."
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"If you see a bomb technician running, follow him and try to keep up."
- USAF Ammo Troop
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"You've never been lost until you've been lost at Mach 3."
- Paul F. Crickmore (test pilot)
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"The only time you have too much fuel is when you're on fire."
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"Blue water Navy truism: There are more planes in the ocean than submarines in the sky." - From an old carrier sailor
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"If the wings are traveling faster than the fuselage, it's probably a helicopter -- and therefore, unsafe."
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"When one engine fails on a twin-engine airplane, you always have enough power left to get you to the scene of the crash."
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"Without munitions, the USAF would be just another expensive flyingclub.
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"What is the similarity between air traffic controllers and pilots? If a pilot screws up, the pilot dies; If ATC screws up.... The pilot dies."
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"Never trade luck for skill."
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The three most common expressions (or famous last words) in aviationare: "Why is it doing that?", "Where are we?" And "Oh S...!"
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"Weather forecasts are horoscopes with numbers."
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"Airspeed, altitude and brains. Two are always needed to complete theflight successfully."
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"Mankind has a perfect record in aviation; we've never left one up there!"
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"Flashlights are tubular metal containers kept in a flight bag to store dead batteries."
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"Flying the airplane is more important than radioing your flight to aperson on the ground who is incapable of understanding or doinganything about it."
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"The Piper Cub is the safest airplane in the world; it can justbarely kill you."
- Attributed to Max Stanley (Northrop test pilot)
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"A pilot who doesn't have any fear probably isn't flying his plane toits maximum."
- Jon McBride, astronaut
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"If you're faced with a forced landing, fly the thing as far into thecrash as possible."
- Bob Hoover (renowned aerobatic and test pilot )
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"Never fly in the same cockpit with someone braver than you."
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"There is no reason to fly through a thunderstorm in peacetime."
- Sign over squadron ops desk at Davis-Monthan AFB, AZ, 1970
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"If something hasn't broken on your helicopter, it's about to."
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Basic Flying Rules: "Try to stay in the middle of the air. Do not go near the edges of it. The edges of the air can be recognized by the appearance of ground, buildings, sea, trees and interstellar space.It is much more difficult to fly there."
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"You know that your landing gear is up and locked when it takes fullpower to taxi to the terminal."
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As the test pilot climbs out of the experimental aircraft, havingtorn off the wings and tail in the crash landing, the crash truckarrives, the rescuer sees a bloodied pilot and asks, "What happened?".The pilot's reply, "I don't know, I just got here myself!"

It doesn't pay to be a frog in Indonesia

When I was a young and idealistic university student of Wildlife Biology at the time when the term "ecology" was just being invented, there were still salmon and swordfish aplenty. Not only could you order either fish at a restaurant and feel no anguish over impacting a population, we didn't even grasp the concept of impacting a population. If there were farmed salmon, I'd never heard of them. If there was a dramatic decrease in the size of swordfish taken in the Atlantic fishery, it hadn't been realized yet.

Fast forward a few years and I still won't order the sword at dinner - although I have given up criticizing those who do. And not only has sportfishing for salmon fallen on hard times, the commercial venture from California to Oregon has all but disappeared. Alaska is feeling it as well and as we all know, there are salmon species that travel the Columbia that are still listed as endangered. So what do you suppose we have learned from our years and years of overfishing and the stunning impact it had on the marine fishery? Apparently nothing.

It seems that somewhere between 200 million and 1 billion (that's with a 'B') frogs are eaten every year. Indonesia leads the export market, so being a frog there makes it a real challenge to live a long and prosperous froggy life. While I am not a particular fan of frog legs and feet, it would seem there are plenty of folks that are. Having eaten them, I can confirm that they taste like chicken - as long as the chicken spent it's life in a pot of water. So it's sort of like eating a wet, fishy chicken.

It might be worth trying to remember the lessons we've learned in the world's oceans. Or maybe our froggie friends really will croak.

For more details on this whole unpleasant amphibian disaster - read this - http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/28876555/

How I spent my weekend...

If I'm to be a true Renaissance Man, I must expose myself to all manner of thought and practice rather than limit myself to the familiar and known. At least that was what I thought as I drove this past Saturday night to attend the CAIR Banquet for the Seattle Chapter. CAIR - Council on American-Islamic Relations - is a group dedicated to the promotion of justice and mutual understanding (I got this from their website). For Muslims of Middle Eastern or African heritage living in the US, this can be a challenge in these times.

A good friend of mine - Yassin Idris, who comes from Eritrea - invited me to join him and his family at this event, thinking I would enjoy learning a bit more about his culture and how it fits - or doesn't - into mainstream America. It was a vastly diverse crowd of perhaps four hundred with more nationalities represented than I could name. There were folks in all manner of traditional dress with beautiful, flowing robes of dramtic colors and lots of beards and hats and women in all manner of hijab - which is a scarf over the head and under the chin. There were also plenty of Anglos like me, but it was still a very unfamiliar setting for me.

The evening was one of speeches and awards, and finally, pleas for financial support since much of the work this organization does is to provide legal support. There is a very diverse world out there that I usually don't consider. It's pretty easy to slip into the groove of my life and get very used to the way things are, forgetting how many different ways there are to view the world.